Painters of the Wind | 바람의 화원

Its been how many days since I finished this series? And I still can't accept the ending, and I will never! And it still haunt me through my days. Oh my....

Who would leave someone of a teacher, a friend and love. Someone who would sacrifice everything for her.

Rewatching the ending still heart-broke me every single time. Especially the last scene when Dan Won cried so hardly looking at the drawing that Yun bok has left him with.

Translating the theme song let me realize the lyrics were words of Dan Won after Yun bok left. It's so darn heartbreaking like I wasn't able to breathe through it. I'm desperate. Can please shoot season 2 that they reunit in the end please? But this series has been 12years... Cry...

没我

没我这个朋友
没我这个妹妹
没我这个女儿
没我这个员工
没我这个女朋友
多好

我只是这世界上多余的存在

那只是我自己

这两个星期是怎么了？无不一天没你走进梦里打扰。而真正打扰的，终究只有我自己。从来不是妳。妳早就放弃我了。狠心的。

妳一定已经好好的

我就像你说的，继续躲在那个角落里。活在那个又黑又折磨的国度。嗯。我相信你已经好好的过着你的生活了。

后来？

如果在你最黑暗最脆弱最需要有人在的那一段被完全的丢弃了。后来的你，会变成一个什么样的人？

I remember. So badly.

I remember. Remember it so badly.
Nobody make it there for me.
No matter how much I beg it for.

你消失。就消失了

一个人可以就这样消失在生命里。多可怕。

Fear

Who would see my fear,
and still walk with me?

If my fear were here so oftenly,
Could I not walk on?

结根的绝望

生活就是无比的失望到绝望
奇迹没有出现
死亡没有来临
折磨与煎熬的永恒

已成为的别人也是别人的别人
离世的也已经离世
改变了的已经改变
剩你一个
谁在乎？
谁陪伴？
绝望了的又无法离世
这样的活着
扶持？
只有离去刺痛孤独
永恒的折磨
没有所谓的扶持或什么真爱

友谊

#2011 trip to singapore
尽管这段期间你并没有理我
我想我们之间却早已永恒了

kill me please

the whole world dump me left me.

告诉我，它只是一场梦，好吗？

那晚，梦见了姑姑回来了，躺在那边和我说，"对不起，我不行了。"

仿佛从来没有觉得，这一切真的发生了。
你还在。你没有生病。过着你的生活。在家里偶尔碰面。
我的沉默不语不理会，依然有你在我们出事之时说声有你在。

你带着希望，

世界陪我崩塌了吗？

世界陪我崩塌了吗？
没有限期的，没有解药的

生日。快。乐

34岁，生日快乐。turning 34 in the cruelest manner。

在死亡的一念中遇见了幸福
在遗弃的幸福中遇见了死亡

An alcoholic. A monster. Love is fake. Cruelty is the truth.

Have I been an alcoholic? Even it has brought me into trouble in times. In reality, spiritually, and losing more and more control when facing me myself. And can no longer live with myself, inside nor from the outside. The torture seem infinity. The pain that made me a monster.

Would you not again appear in dreams, being in fake and then the cruelty of reality.

Love is fake. Reality is the only truth. Cruelty is life. Life is suffer.

既然已从我艰难生活逝去，何必制造假象来到梦里拥抱

昨晚又梦见我回去了。在我最无助最脆弱时，所有我以为的身边人的转身离开。还留下恶言的痛。把我从他们生活彻底消除。我以为我可以依赖的人。嗯。我从未接受过。却总是梦见这些人出现安慰。让我分裂。

现实只有残酷，再更残酷。

Look at all the wasted space

看完这短片，向来就会思考。再想一想，和她一起的这两年，我们一起看过无数的电影，却没有一部能深聊故事里的情节。仔细想一想，她真的是如此不能聊的人吗？她在私人网页所写出短短的几句，分享的照片，说明，她和你一样，其实也具有多层面的想法与感受。总觉得这一不能聊，我们之间包围的都是误会。这两年来，我们建立了什么？她关闭的自己，远远比你还深。是我无法让她对我敞开心肠，还是我就不在那对的时机。一切怪我。怪我对爱的渴望。对心灵层面的追求。最终，一无所有。

Look at all the wasted space.

Let Her Go

Hey yc, yc... would you let her go? For needing her, you are torturing her. Would you please let her go, a thing you could do for her, for loving her. Whatever right or wrong you have done, would you choose love, and set her free? I know it's so torturing. Would you believe that she feels sad too? Would you believe she would blame herself for all that happened too? Remember you have your angel guardian along all the while? Would you believe your angel will bring you somewhere? I know you lost hope. I know.

一次的崩溃

一次的崩溃倒下。从爱情到事业到友情的一无所有。再到家人老去逝去病倒。这样有多么的可怕无助？这样一步一步的，地狱般的，在绝望和恐惧的每一刻打转。

这可怕的生命和我多余的存在。