生日。快。乐

34岁，生日快乐。turning 34 in the cruelest manner。

在死亡的一念中遇见了幸福
在遗弃的幸福中遇见了死亡

An alcoholic. A monster. Love is fake. Cruelty is the truth.

Have I been an alcoholic? Even it has brought me into trouble in times. In reality, spiritually, and losing more and more control when facing me myself. And can no longer live with myself, inside nor from the outside. The torture seem infinity. The pain that made me a monster.

Would you not again appear in dreams, being in fake and then the cruelty of reality.

Love is fake. Reality is the only truth. Cruelty is life. Life is suffer.

既然已从我艰难生活逝去，何必制造假象来到梦里拥抱

昨晚又梦见我回去了。在我最无助最脆弱时，所有我以为的身边人的转身离开。还留下恶言的痛。把我从他们生活彻底消除。我以为我可以依赖的人。嗯。我从未接受过。却总是梦见这些人出现安慰。让我分裂。

现实只有残酷，再更残酷。